The Earth is in danger. Luckily, the American government — good environmentalists that they are — have created the Planet Ranger corps, an elite force tasked with hunting down polluters.

Which would work well, if only they’d thought of including an I.Q. test in the hiring process. The latest Planet Ranger recruit is an overzealous bureaucrat… the kind who’ll go to extremes if he sees a dropped cigarette butt. On the other hand, he’ll help a serial killer dispose of his victims’ remains (even if the fellow doesn’t separate his wastes). By the same token, if you’re a healthy eater, beware! He’ll refuse to save you from a pack of ravening wolves. Heaven forfend the natural cycle be interrupted — just so long as there’s no risk of food poisoning for the poor beasts!…

Protecting nature at all costs — even if it means destroying the planet.